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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Letting Go! Starting Over...

This blog entry is all about letting go of what I thought I knew and pressing on to live out the true lessons that I have come to know (yet what do I in the midst of the storm.

I started some blog-sites about 3 years ago that focused on sharing valuable lessons (that I hadn't truly applied) about life! It was during the time of seeking and studying, that I realized I hadn't truly embraced the lessons that I had been sharing; yet others around me were living out those lessons without ever teaching them to anyone.

I've understood that life is not about how much you know but about how you use what you know to be "successful." Most of the time I was focused too much on what I thought I knew, that I was never truly open to listening to the ideas of others. Come to find out, others MAY have known exactly what I was going through (most of time) and how to help me get through my pile(s) of mess.

Earlier this year (after writing, recording and creating non-stop for many years) I tucked my laptop, my pen and paper away. My heart was broken and the scars seemed too deep to truly pour out what I was feeling or even going through. Looking back on/at all of this, I realize what I realized about 3 years ago when I decided to share my lessons and my life with anyone who was fortunate enough to find what I had to offer--no one is alone in this journey called "The Struggle!!!" When I run across a blog that is well-written and filled with personal accounts of other people's lives, I sometimes cry BUT most of the time--I smile! I know that my thought is not alone!

It's amazing how much time is wasted thinking about what could have been. TIME is the opportunity to create what will BE. I have not fully come to the place where I can say that all of my life is worked out...but I can finally say that LIFE offers much more than most are willing to aim for. It's not in acquiring the physical possessions that happiness is found, but it's within one's self that true happiness is cultivated...and that happiness illuminates one's outer world.

Along my journey of life, I've met some of the most amazing people who have been like warning signs, some were hazards, others were mere distractions, others in disguise and so forth...but ultimately, I am the one who is responsible for what I make of all the characters that I have met along this journey that one may call self-awareness!

The obstacles of life truly come to teach one lesson--strength! How to overcome and endure. I do believe that GOD has given each person a purpose to achieve (whether small or great)...and the center of that purpose is LOVE. Love is not selfish, though at times it may seem awkward to pull away from others to truly take care and deal with itself. No one is any good when they are not able to care for themselves or think clearly. Knowing what you need and giving yourself the chance to acquire what you need is a valauble lesson. Sometimes it seems like the "thoughts" you have are not important to others because they have already achieved and passed the test that you are taking...but your race is individual and should be filled with ALL the colors of life regardless of where you are in comparison to those around you.

Writing is an outlet, an art, an expression, a gift...amid the other gifts and talents that are displayed on the canvas of time. The beauty of writing is that what you write can later remind you of your own progress in life. To be a living epistle is more valuable than to be a written epistle...yet to hold yourself back from expression is like locking yourself in a prison cell. There is no freedom in holding yourself back from the pure pleasures that become pure blessings to others who may be in their first stages of walking and growing...simply looking for one person to let them know--they are not alone...

I write, speak and live only because it is the purpose of LIFE! God gave me a life but I wanted to throw it all away. I didn't believe that I had anything to offer in a world where others are pretty much living out lessons that I was just happy to express in vivid colors....but I do believe that everyday is a day to change! Change step by step, day by day...

The challenges that lie ahead seem far harder than the path behind me...
Yet I am reminded of all that I've been through and how I have come to this place of realization.

To learn is merely to realize that we are not the only ones going through the challenges of life and that moving forward may be difficult but it requires CHOICE. No matter how difficult, or how impossible your struggle may seem...there is a Way to turn your situation around. Some people rely on faith, some on religion, others on psychology, others metaphysical ideologies, etc...but regardless of what you do or use, there is a Way to truly change your present in order to make a better future for yourself.

The first step to CHANGE is honesty with self and no one else. It's simple, clean and what people would consider "cheap." It doesn't cost anything but time and it won't hurt anyone but YOU. Yet this pain is actually a pain that helps you. Lately, I've been realizing that honesty can't be given to anyone in your life until it is given to self first. The best way to alter one's life (contrary to what most people would recommend) is to avoid flooding one's mind with the thoughts of others. No one can clearly define themselves in the midst of a million borrowed thoughts. No two persons have to express their life in the same way. The beauty of variety. Yet in our expressions, we come to realize that we are not alone by understanding someone else's struggles and accomplishments.

When I read other people's stories, I do not look to adopt their philosophies for myself. I am inspired and over-joyed to see another person living their life to the fullest though (I know) I have yet to do that for myself. It is an encouragment more than anything to see someone else (in your exact situation) make a masterpiece out of a "mess!"

There was a time that I desired to be/write difficult and complex theories/philosophies...writing many things that even I didn't understand. I have learned that the most valauble life lessons and stories are still better expressed in simple ways. Story-telling is still a passion of mine. I look forward to sharing stories and my Journies on this blog.

My former blogsites were not based on a true journey of struggle...but it was based on a true journey of PAIN. Now I have seen that the struggle is the most important part of life...without it, one can not be born...therefore one can not truly LIVE. A journey of pain does not qualify a soul to be born, for pain is the common factor that ties people together. We can all sympathize with some form of pain. To struggle is something that is chosen. It is realized, embraced and used to cultivate strong/solid character. If one does not embrace the struggles that are set before them, they will still endure it only to see themselves lose what could have been gained--strength!

Strength and beauty are cultivated in/under great pressure and no matter how hard life may seem or how impossible the challenges/trials/obstacles may seem...this is what life is all about--BECOMING MORE, becoming BETTER, becoming WISER, becoming STRONGER and becoming YOU...the YOU that YOU want to BE.

I will never limit myself to be organized in thought. My thoughts are random and always will be...I like it that way. My thoughts are a combination of what I know, have done, want to do, will do and want to express. By sharing my gift(s), I know that someone else will be blessed and push forward amid the obstacles that they face to spread their wings and FLY! But most importantly, by using my gift(s), I am enriched and able to live out my life. Perhaps our gifts are first, for us to bless our own soul...that we may then reach out and be a blessing in the lives of others.

The perceived "reality" of life may be to live successfully in this man-created world...BUT the "BEAUTY" of Life is to LIVE out your own purpose and use your free will to change yourself in order to Light up the world!

I have not done everything that I know I can do but that doesn't stop me from believing that I can still aim for my own dreams and achieve them in time...provided God's grace, favor and mercy pave the Way!!!

I am thankful, even in sorrow, that I have seen God's hand in everything I've gone through...offering, blessing and providing. Now my desire is to let this Love guide my life that I may be a blessing to others!